Friday, November 13, 2009

Honestly, Do I Have to Get a Restraining Order?

Hey, BigAnonymous:

STOP SENDING ME STUFF.  You laid me off on September 22, nearly eight weeks ago.  Get over me.

Seriously, you're like that boyfriend who dumps you but then keeps calling "just to say hi."  For God's sake, do us both a favor and move on.  I have a novel to write.

Friday, November 6, 2009

NaNo, Day 6: An Ergonomic Plea

Chair, I’d jump around for joy
If only you were ergie
You know if I were Josh Duhamel
I’d do you like you were Fergie*

Desk, I’m with you all day long
Trying to be word-y
And that’s all good -- so is it bad
To wish that you were ergie?

My jaw is clenched, my back’s in spasms
My neck wants to flee to Jersey
Cause the tools I have are nice and all
But let’s face it -- they’re not ergie.

So if there’s Someone Big upstairs
I know that you’ll have heard me
And answered all my fevered prayers
When you send me something ergie.

____

*or, you know, whoever.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My work! My luck! My work! My luck! (apologies to CHINATOWN...)

Meeting yesterday's NaNo word count goal was like pulling teeth. 1,667 teeth.  But, done!  (1704 teeth, in fact.)  So today's tidbit is in the "the harder I work, the luckier I get" vein.  Here's looking forward to the luck.

My experience is you always get lucky if you’re willful enough about it. I discovered when I was in my twenties, and I started trying to make work, that if I would spend even more hours on it, luck would kick in on some story. And then you have to be ready to throw stuff out, too. You’re making room for the better stuff that’s going to come.

    -- Ira Glass, producer/creator/host, This American Life


Read the full interview here.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

NaNovember, NaNoCashland

Yesterday was the first day of a global writing fiesta/orgy/spasm called National Novel Writing Month  (NaNoWriMo for short, NaNo for short short). NaNo works like this: you register on their website – over 100,000 people have registered around the world this year -- and commit to writing a 50,000 word novel between November 1 and November 30. 50,000 words comes out to roughly 200 pages, or between 6 and 7 pages per day, which in turn translates to an average of 1667 words per day. Simple, right?

Simple. Not easy.

One of the great joys of No Cashland is that I had ZERO excuse not to participate this year, and so I’m in for the first time. I will continue to post here throughout the month, but as I’m doing most of my heavy-lifting writing over at NaNo, you might wind up seeing a lot of links. And videos. Jokes, maybe. Who knows?  In the meantime, to give you a taste of who I’ll be cheating on you with all month, here’s the first paragraph of the NaNo novel. (This is the only excerpt I’ll post, though I may post a summary or two if they seem worth reading. Or because it might be fun to write them.)

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Chapter One: To the Mountain

The carriage rocked and swayed as it lurched up the mountain. The horses strained at their harnesses; the breeze carried intermittent flecks of sweaty foam from their backs into the compartment where Edith sat next to her seven-year-old brother Peter. It was a clear, sunny afternoon, but their parents knocked on the inside roof of the compartment and asked the driver — Timothy was their gardener for the nine months of the year they were in the city and their driver/groundskeeper/in-house naturalist when they journeyed to Cragsmoor — to close the curtains against the flecks. As the carriage trudged upward its shiny black body and thick black woolen curtains made it look more like a hearse than a family vehicle.
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That’s right, it looked like a hearse. Foreshadowing! People might die! (Okay, people die.) A century later other people will try to find out how and why and it will put them in danger! Some other stuff will happen in between those events! At this point I have a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen, but when I started writing chapter one I had a very clear plan. That plan exploded on word two, which I had intended to be “car.” Being in a carriage instead of a car sent me back half a century in one fell swoop, to a time period I hadn't envisioned being in this book at all. I fought it for about 20 minutes and then gave in.  Which I expect will happen a lot between now and November 30.  Basically, I expect to spend November being smacked around by my own brain.

At least, I hope so.