Cashland Redefined

The news: on Tuesday, September 22, I was exiled from Cashland. I am laid off!

A couple of things about this:

1) It was not entirely unexpected. Partly because if you keep your eyes open in the halls of BigAnonymous you can always tell when things are brewing, as there are enough whispers and closing doors to fill a festival of French farces; and partly because my now former boss is fundamentally insane and was unable to keep from saying things a boss shouldn’t say to an employee - things like, “So have you heard anything about more layoffs coming?”

But you shouldn’t take my word for it that she’s insane (I mean, I’m a potentially disgruntled and bitter former employee, right?) I submit the following, actual conversation into evidence. It’s not about layoffs, but it is a shining example of the spinning insanity that characterized my days at BigAnonymous.


Boss Lady:
We need to find a way to distinguish when we’re talking about design process from when we’re talking about the design resources. Process and resources are two different things, so we need a way to identify when we’re talking about which thing. We need different words so we know when we mean process and when we mean resources.

Me:
How about “process” and “resources?”

Boss Lady:
I don't think you understand.

Sometimes I am convinced that my entire tenure at BigAnonymous was scripted by Groucho Marx.



1a) For the record, I’m not a disgruntled and bitter former employee. I’ve talked to friends of mine who are still on the inside, and I can tell you that they are in a position as difficult or worse than mine. They are being asked to do exponentially more work with far fewer people (I was one of eight let go that Tuesday, and I know of three more since then), and no matter how much lip service is given to understanding that that’s the case, mostly the attitude of the managers is “Yeah, well, I paid my dues, so you can too.” (Also a direct quote, by the way, though not from my boss.) Which is patently absurd, as “paying your dues” is quite different from “being required to do the work of four people who were your friends and who you watched get tossed out onto the street in the middle of the worst economic climate since the Depression while you sit and wonder a) why it wasn’t you, and b) when it will be."

I may not always feel this way, especially when the money starts getting even tighter, which it will fairly quickly – but I will say this for now: there is a lot of upside to not wanting to kill yourself five mornings a week.


2) Obviously, “Cashland” will have to be reimagined. Introducing… No Cashland! From here on in, this blog will switch between recent-historical tales of Cashland and dispatches from No Cashland, my new home. Often these will intersect, especially as the amount of paperwork BigAnonymous has sent me since laying me off is enough to have gained me citizenship in another country.


So that’s where we go from here. There are many, many tales of Cashland waiting in the wings! No Cashland is turning out to be pretty fertile ground as well.

And we haven’t even begun to discuss Tom’s Town. You’re gonna love Tom’s Town.

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